Friday, 3 April 2015

Dance Dirty class

Tonight I'm taking a Dance Dirty class at the Pole Gym I attend. 

I am beside myself with excitement!!! Notice the multiple exclamation marks, that's to emphasise the extreme level of excitement I'm feeling. I'm excited, I can't wait, so excited, I keep checking the clock, *scream*... just *eek* briiiiinngg iiiiiiitt! 

In all honesty you'd swear I was going on a hot date as opposed to grinding, sliding, slinking, shimmying, and doing all manner of dirty dancing moves and floor work.

I've washed my hair, shaved my legs and pits, tidied the bits (as per Cleo the Hurricane's: 5 things a pole dancer should never do, this is a NECESSITY). I've been humming during all of this, oh, and made sure NOT to moisturise. Seriously, watch the Cleo video and you'll totally get it.

I have shredded my pole gear drawer, absolutely torn it A-P-A-R-T to find the perfect Dance Dirty outfit. I've dug out pole shorts that I haven't worn for a while - for lack of opportunity. They're tiny, super tiny for me, so I'll just let that sit out there. The top I've chosen is my favourite Cleo the Hurricane one, Death By Stiletto. 
Subtle I know...
I'd already decided to wear my knee high black patent boots - 7 and a half inches of RAGE. They're normally 7 and a half inches of sexy but I'm carrying over a bit of aggression and frustration about my car so will dance and slam it off on the floor. I do have my standard pole shoes as back ups should my feet start to hurt. The knee pads are a necessity, I lost so much knee skin last time doing a routine to George Michael's Freek that they bled... #poleproblems
Boots, shoes, and knee pads... oh yeah!
So all this excitement for one dance class. You betcha. To me it's not just one dance class, it's the ultimate out of all the various pole dance styles, the one that's for me. I have always adored the sensual dance, the sexual dance, the one where the dancer is so in tune to the music and moving her body the world just melts away. I have an obscure memory from childhood watching a woman dance like this, the type of watching that makes your mouth slowly drop open and your eyes transfixed on the dancer.

To top it off Karla the instructor has announced she will be holding a six week course on this style of pole dance starting next week. I screamed! Yes, yes I did, literally screamed. I sat at my laptop and screamed out "YES!" as my fingers flew over the keyboard to express/type my excitement. I haven't stopped buzzing about since. 

The first thing I did after I'd announced to my family what my excitement was about was to let my husband know I needed a new pair of pole boots, thigh highs. Do note this is a NEED and not some random want. Any pole dancer out there will understand. Oh, and I have to find some T's with attitude. Might be time to check out some dirty ones that make a statement. Will definitely keep you in the loop with any future purchases, because they'll be necessary purchases of course.

So, the time has come for me to post this, get changed, and hit the road to get my sexay on! I can't wait, bag's been packed since this morning... yep, excited!

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Searching for Consistency... Part 1.

At the start of 2014 I wrote a post about Consistency under the title: Blog Hop January - My 2014 Intentions

I have a confession to make... I'm incredibly good at being inconsistent. It's one of my talents even, but hindsight being what it is I know I'm not doing myself any favours.

Since the New Year I've very gradually stepped up my poling, repeating levels to build up my strength, setting realistic goals, and I've been achieving them. But to be totally honest I've not been putting in 100% effort, it's been more like 70%. I've been kind of cruising along doing what I need to do only, not that little bit extra that gets you achieving that bit more. You know what I mean? Like doing that extra stretch session or two at home, or running through your routine several times in your own time.

Finding consistency for me means having a routine. Not having one is driving me crazy. I've never been good at that 'go with the flow' type stuff, all spontaneous and fit it in wherever, not when it comes to my fitness anyway. You know that, "Oh, I'll just take the next hour and do a good long stretch sesh"... I'm more of a, "I have an hour? An HOUR! Fuck! What have I forgotten to do? Where am I meant to be? What needs doing that I'm not doing?", turning in circles trying to figure it out, starting one thing then entering another room and starting something else and before I know it the hour is gone and I've achieved nothing.

Yes, I'm one of 'those' people who needs a routine, who needs to schedule things; block off periods of time on my calendar to do the necessary stuff to get the outcomes I'm looking for. I'm just in denial about it all, well have been in denial until now.

Putting in only 70% effort, while getting me results isn't giving me the kind of results I'm really after either. I know that to be better I need to do better. So the bullshit has been identified and I'm ready to make some changes.
I AM MAKING A ROUTINE, scheduling blocks of time for activities on my calendar, and the timing is just brilliant, it's a total fluke but it works so I'm rolling with it.

Next week I move up a level at my Pole Gym, I will be a level 5 student. There is more inverting, harder tricks, and a new routine to learn. Along with this is a new timetable and I'm going to make use of casual classes that I don't normally. It works out I will be poling or doing pole related stuff four evenings a week and I'm expecting some pretty cool results from that.

April 1st is the start of the 60 Day Splits Challenge, coordinated by the Worldwide Splitters Network, and I'm doing it too. I'm not doing it for prizes or the cool certificate at the end, I'm doing it because I want to. One of the challenge requirements is five photographs to be uploaded to your splits album five days/week. If I want to participate then I have to do this requirement. I am old, so it means there will be much stretching happening so my muscles are prepared to go into my version of a split to then be photographed. Much stretching, did you read that bit, much stretching.

Oh, the anticipation of the results from this challenge. I'm fortunate to be not too bad in the flexibility department. With some serious stretching I can achieve some cool moves with my body and I like that. But like any change if there isn't that consistency, there isn't that result. I want that result and this challenge's timing is just perfect for me.
I have been taking the easy way, the lazy options, sometimes by choice, sometimes not, but they have definitely given me the results I've put in the effort for. I accept that, and I also realise that when I work harder the results will be better. So bring on the challenge, bring on the routine, bring on the change in mindset, and bring on the motivation. I will check back with Searching for Consistency Part 2 at the end of April, and follow it up with Part 3 at the end of May. Yes, I will include photo's as well, 'cause it sounds like I'm going to end up with quite a few to choose from. *lol* Nothing like visual proof of effort = reward.

Wish me luck and by all means join along with me, or follow how I go on my Facebook page, or set up your own challenge/routine/motivation and let me know how you go.

No more 70% effort, it's time to up it and in doing so up the result as well!

Is it just me or do you also share the feeling that I should throw in a "THIS IS SPARTA" cry here... yeah, probs just me.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

The Pole Precinct... Grand Opening

It's only taken me 18 months but I've finally got around to visiting another pole studio other than the one I normally attend.

I'd had a few people ask me if I'd heard of The Pole Precinct, if I knew of the instructors, it's location, what they offered, and things like that. I honestly don't know where the expectation comes from that I would know, but I thought why not go check it out.

The Pole Precinct is located in Salisbury (Queensland, Australia) so reasonably central'ish for south side of the city people. I believe you're looking at a 15-20 minute drive from the city if the traffic is behaving. I know nothing about behaving traffic as I live in the opposite direction, am rural, and it took me 50 minutes to drive there, on a Sunday, with no traffic.
The block that houses The Pole Precinct: 623 Toohey Rd, Salisbury
Initially I overshot the small industrial/commercial block it's located at; a mixture of being unfamiliar with the area and I honestly didn't notice The Pole Precinct sign. A quick check on the map, double check of the building number, perfectly executed U-turn (of course), and I was where I should be. Now that I'm familiar with the location, sign - it's colours and style, overshooting is a one-off and really nothing unusual for me.

First off there is plenty of on-site parking (free) which is always a bonus. I'm not sure how busy it would be during a week day when the other businesses are open, but of an evening and weekends there certainly won't be any problems parking your car.
Sliding door main entrance, roller door opens to the fitness space
The studio is marked by a modestly signed sliding doorway. I must confess I appreciate this subtlety. I know some people aren't ready to boldly announce, or be obvious about pole dancing and pole fitness, just as some community members aren't as receptive to it as they could be.

Inside the foyer is fresh and bright. I like the colour scheme they've selected, green/white/black, it's quite refreshing and light really (oh god, my inner interior designer wannabe is showing, let me just tuck her back in).
There are two doorways, the one on the left takes you into the pole room. This is an air conditioned space which is a necessity here in Queensland. There are eight poles in this room: two brass poles and six stainless steel ones, all 45 mm and all three meters tall. There is plenty of space between the poles, storage for your gear, and a nice wood laminate floor. The poles can vary between static and spin. At this stage mirrors aren't up yet but they are coming, hey they are a necessity for self correction and to see if you really should have gone that other size in pole shorts.
Eight poles ready to go
The door to the right leads to the fitness area and while still in the fit-out stage when I saw it, it's able to be used for strength, conditioning and fitness training already and it certainly won't take long to be fully completed.

There is a shared toilet next to the studio, it's kept unlocked and is available for The Pole Precinct clients to use. It has two toilets, a basin, and hand towel. I found it surprisingly clean and wouldn't hesitate to get changed there those times you find yourself unable to change before arriving.

When I arrived on the open day Dani and her team were giving a class so I had the opportunity to speak with Daniel (Dani's partner). We talked about the location, safety, lighting, which all got the thumbs up from Daniel. The Pole Precinct is located amongst long term businesses who are all receptive and supportive of their arrival, half the battle is having friendly neighbours.

I was fortunate enough to be there for the instructors performance. I don't know these ladies personally but they freestyled amazingly, showcased their craft beautifully, and made me envious enough to top up my motivation to continue on my own pole/fitness path with the consistency that I have been of late. They all had wonderful technique, flow, did beginner to advanced level tricks, and something you pick up on quick... they all pointed their toes!
Dani (at top) and team
When I got home I checked out The Pole Precinct website. I especially admire the listing of the Instructors Qualifications, and Title & Accomplishments they have gone for, held, or currently hold.

Dani is not only immensely qualified in pole and pole fitness, she is also above and beyond as a qualified fitness trainer. Dani has also picked a well qualified, well educated, and experienced group of instructors to join her in her venture.  

The timetable and class offerings cover a broad range of options including the various level courses run over eight week blocks, a variety of casual classes, Mum's and Bub's, Men Only, Booty, plus multiple fitness options.

I'm not quite sure what else people would want to know that I may not have covered. The website is very informative and as with any business phone if you have a question. I found Dani, Daniel, her staff and the support people she had around her on the Open Day all very approachable and friendly. I think it's exciting and nerve-racking at the same time to start your own business, it will be a huge learning curve, there will be good and bad days, but I get the impression The Pole Precinct is here for the long haul.

On a personal note I must say I'm excited that a new pole studio has started up. I try not to have an "Us and Them" mentality but the more opportunities there are to pole and to get the message out, the more mainstream pole dancing and pole fitness become, helping to remove that 'perceived' stigma some insist on attaching to it. 

Basically, for each new pole studio... it's more of US and less of THEM!

I did say 'try' not to have that mentality.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Pole competition audiences... what you need to know.

Pole comp audiences are a different breed of audience all together. They are kind of a cross between circus crowds who gasp and whoop, and boxing crowds who cheer and scream bloody murder.

I love pole comp audiences, I think they're the best audiences of any type of performance or competition audience out there. Of course I do, and hell yes I'm biased, but I'm also experienced.

Let me impart my wisdom.

The main differences between a pole competition audience and a regular performance audience are predominantly enthusiasm, timing, sympathy, and lack of restraint.

When you go to a performance, like a show at a State or National Performing Arts Centre, or a concert featuring a well known talent, or even a local performance like your kid's dance troupe; the audiences are well behaved, and dare I say it, often polite to the point of restraint. Of course there are the odd bods who buck the norm, but they are few and far between.

A regular audience will wait until a designated lull in the performance to applaud, sometimes there is cheering, occasionally whooping, sometimes the odd whistler. There are smiles of appreciation, and there are seldom any interruptions during the performance itself.
Pole competition audiences are notorious for causing quite a ruckus, for being loud, shouting, interrupting, applauding, screaming, and whistling. And this is DURING the performance. There is no waiting until the end or for a lull. If a trick, or spin, or combo, is thought to be deserving there will be screams of appreciation, gasping at the bravery of a move, and clapping, shouting, and whistling in the lead up to the end. 

For the performer this gives instant feedback. You know exactly how you're doing, you get pepped up as you perform, and the crowd lifts you throughout your show. It is a delight to witness that audience/performer interaction. 

So why am I explaining pole competition audiences?

I have some lovely people I know about to enter their first ever competition. An inaugural amateur pole competition, and it's a big deal. This is one of the first serious amateur comps in my state, not some pub/club comp, we're talking a serious quality comp with rules, professional judging, professional venue and equipment.

As these competitors are amateurs, first timers, nerves are making themselves felt, seriously felt in the 24 hour lead up to the comp.

Here is my advice.

Those nerves... enjoy them. Sit somewhere quiet and actually feel them, don't ignore them, don't try to bury them, just quietly sit, focus on them, and feel them.

Those nerves are your energy. Those nerves are your power. They are your strength. And in your moment of need they will lift you, spin you, make you fly, and dance you to where you tell your body to go. So embrace your nerves, they are a gift and an incredibly powerful tool.

Now, if your nervousness is connected to your audience and what you perceive their reactions may be to a stumble, falter, or fall,  You need to understand why the audience is your biggest ally, support, and will lift you should things go a bit unplanned.

Pole competition audiences are predominantly made up of people with varying degrees of experience in poling, but that experience connects and bind the audience with the performer, very intimately so.

A noticeable cock up, slip, trip, fall, or fail will not be felt exclusively by you the performer, the audience feels it with you as well.

Pole comp audiences are there watching you do what we cannot, or what we wish we could do, or what we're aiming for, or what we have already done ourselves. So, we know when a fault happens, we can spot it, and the feeling we have for you in that moment is very real. We want you to execute the moves perfectly, we want you to dance amazingly, we want you to dazzle with your tricks. 

When a fail happens we want you to get up, lift up, smile, keep going, and show us you can do it. So what if you fell, or you slipped, just show us - your audience, your fellow polers, that someone like you who is brave enough to get on that stage in the first place, is also brave enough to keep going. That's when you will hear the loudest roar from the crowd, that's when the cheering and whistling becomes wild, that's when the goosebumps start and pole pride steps in.
Pole comp audiences are wild, generous, caring, and incredibly loud. We 'get' the performer and we understand the experience. As a performer never, ever be afraid or nervous of a pole comp audience, use them, feed off them, and show them what you can do. And as an audience keep embracing the performer, be loud, scream when you love a combo, whoop when a move looks awesome, and applaud till your hands hurt at the end because there is nothing so mesmerising and enthralling to a pole audience as a gorgeous pole routine executed to it's conclusion by a talented pole performer.

Good luck to anyone who enters a pole comp, you inspire so many without realising it. You make me love being a part of the audience, you give me goosebumps, make me laugh, make me cry, take me on a journey, and definitely make my hands hurt and my voice disappear for hours, and sometimes days, afterwards.

Thursday, 25 December 2014

My first professional photo shoot November 2014

Back in September my Pole studio organised a professional photo shoot for November.

Part of the deal included 20 minutes with the photographer in which you could perform as many poses as you could fit in. You could have costume changes as well, so long as it all occurred within the allocated 20 minute photo shoot time. Optional extras included professional hair, makeup, and tanning. 

I chose hair and make up along with my allocated 20 minute photography time.

I made so many noob mistakes but I learned heaps; and next time, because I'm a pole dancer there is ALWAYS a next time when it comes to professional photo shoots, I will do better because I know better.

So where did I go wrong?

First up I did a twelve hour day volunteering at a concert and didn't get enough sleep the night before, so I was shattered the day of the shoot.

Because I was so tired I hadn't organised my clothing, let alone have a change. It wasn't until I was walking out the door on the way that I thought "Oh, I can wear that corset I completely forgot about".

I didn't rehearse any of the poses I planned on doing.

I didn't get there early enough to watch others so I would know what I was in for.

I hadn't thought about a theme for my hair and makeup.

Finally, good old Queensland threw a heat wave at me (I know, a bit out of my control but I'm sure it was my fault in some way).

So I turned up to the photo shoot completely unprepared you could say. Go on, just say it... NOOB!
When I was asked by the lovely makeup and hair ladies what look I was going for, I was dumbfounded. I didn't realise I needed to have  look.

I don't know what I expected, maybe that they'd look at me and pick something they thought suited me, maybe magic, I don't know? I blurted out, "Sexy, I suppose, you know that sultry siren look." They did wonderful work and I cannot fault them at all. I got sultry all right.
I quickly got changed and raced downstairs, my allocated time had arrived and I had 20 minutes. Luke introduced himself and asked what I had in mind. I hurredly opened my phone and showed him the pictures I'd downloaded from my hasty Google search that morning. Most of my poses didn't involve any tricks, just posing with the pole in the background. Considering the weather I was grateful for that.

I sat in my first pose and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt awkward, I felt uncomfortable, I felt very out of place, not like me at all. I caught my reflection in the mirrors that run the wall of the studio. The lovely ladies had fulfilled my request 100%, but with hindsight I realised that 'Sultry' wasn't me. I felt too made up.

'Exaggerated' is a good way to describe how I felt in that moment but it was too late to change anything, and definitely not enough time. So I adopted the addage 'Live and Learn' and went with the flow... and I learnt so much just in that small 20 minute window.
I think THE most fortunate thing about this being my first photo shoot was landing such a talented photographer as Luke. Between Luke and his sister Rebecca, who happened to be posing in a timeslot near mine and who had the foresight to come and watch, helping me out, I was able to pull it off in the end. They directed me and posed me into some good positions like what I had in mind. And I have to say they got me smiling and had me feeling more like myself and less awkward that I'd stuffed up my 'look'.

In the end I got a heap of untouched photo's to document this time in my life. Some are complete failures and will NEVER see the light of day, some are okay, and a handful are really nice. This is no reflection on Luke's ability,  it's a total reflection on MY inability and yes, my noobiness to professional photo shoot photography and posing. I like that they're untouched too so they are very accurate and real. All I've done is put a filter (or million) over top, enough to satisfy me ego, before displaying them. I'm not familiar with photoshop and it doesn't sit well with me anyway, I like my body as it is.
So what advice can I give you before your professional photo shoot?

  • Have a handful of poses, that you've practiced beforehand, to show what you'd like to do, that you've practiced beforehand, to show the photographer areas you'd like to highlight, that you've practiced beforehand, that you know you can do, because... yes, you've practiced beforehand.
  • Decide on an outfit, keep it simple. The less complicated your outfit the more the focus is on you and your pose.
  • If you are having hair and makeup done professionally decide well before time on the 'look' you want to present. Unless you perform as a character or take on a persona when you do, stay true to who you are and you will shine through in your images.
  • Try not to arrive tired, being well rested will make for a less stressed experience. Failing that do a lot of deep breathing and relaxtion exercise... ohmmmm
  • Watch what others before you are doing. If it's your first time, and if you can, come along to a completely different time schedule to your own or come super early to yours, and watch what other people do. It's great for ideas, for support, and to assist your fellow poler to relax into their shoot... thank you Rebecca xox
My first professional photo shoot is out of the way now. Our studio is talking about having a beach one mid year so I'll definitely be up for that one. I'll be better prepared for certain, I'll  definitely get there ealier, offer to help out any noobs (because I'm so wise now), and I'll stay true to who I am so hopefully I'll be less awkward and more relaxed.

Friday, 24 October 2014

Australian Pole Festival 2014 - My experience

I'm not quite a whole week home from the Australian Pole Festival. I have worked through my pole depression, my muscular aches, and am comfortably ensconced back to being a blogging recluse in my blogging cave. I have to tell you about my experience before I forget the cool stuff. Prepare yourself, this kind of shit happens when you get older, and is part of the motivation behind this blog - to help me remember my poling adventures, experiences, and opinions.

So, you may or may not know the Australian Pole Festival (from here on to be referred to as Pole Fest) was held at Coolangatta, a part of the southern Gold Coast of Queensland, from October 17-19. I arrived Thursday afternoon, the 16th, to check-in to my hotel and join in the welcome meet and greet that evening.  
Thursday night's meet and greet
The venue: In a nutshell it was perfect. On one side of the road was the accommodation - the Outriggers Resort. Walk across an air-conditioned, carpeted, security monitored, above the road walkway and up one flight of stairs, to the workshop/market stalls/buffet luncheon/chat chair area; the third floor function rooms of  the Twin Towns Services Club. 

I just loved how this venue enabled us to stay almost in a complete Pole bubble for the whole time we were there. No catching transport to a multitude of various locations. No rushing to off site timetable events so no having to get changed. No awkward gawking, okay maybe a little bit of that but enough to handle. Having it all on one site just made it so relaxing and stress free. I thought it was just the ideal set up and I can't rave enough about it.
One of the workshop rooms
The workshops: In total I attended twelve workshops. Six on the first day, which I thought was going to kill me but in hindsight was the best thing. Three workshops on day two and three workshops on day three. There was optional yoga each morning as well as a final yoga option on the last day before leaving Pole Fest. I'm not yet a yoga devotee so I dodged that one and either lolled about in bed longer or dawdled a bit getting ready.

The workshops covered a broad range of specialties, all relatable to poling and to the level group you were placed in to. I was in a beginner level so the workshops I attended involved activities like: acro lap, twerk & pop, flex, pole vixen, heel bangs, lyrical pole, spinning pole, stretch, choreography, pole moves, and bringing sexy back. Great range covered you'd have to agree.

One of the keys to really enjoying Pole Fest is recognising the information, tips, and routines are for you to take away with you, not to perfect then and there. These are new skills to be developed and honed once back at your home studio. Pole Fest is about establishing the baseline, the expectation, you then take from that what you want and develop it further.
During a workshop
The instructors:
Lou Landers: the queen of booty/twerk
Amber Ray: the queen of lyrical, organic dance
Kristy Sellars: choreography queen, technique wizard, contemporary dancer
Michelle Shimmy: the stripper gymnast herself
Jedda J Jordan: getting your flexy on, Miss Pole Dance 2014
Leigh Ann Reilly, the only import this year. From LA, yes as in USA, as in California, as in Los Angeles. *whispering breathily* Leigh Ann is my pole crush!

First up I have to say the instructors were all AMAZING. When giving their workshops each was unbelievably professional, incredibly helpful, patient and understanding. They altered their approach to each group, and even each person, based on what we could comfortably and confidently do. We were encouraged to push ourselves and guided each step of the way. And they were generous beyond a fault. We were allowed to, and even encouraged, to record routines, techniques, tips and tricks. Of course on the proviso we kept the recordings personal and didn't publish or share them. Fair enough as far as I'm concerned, this is how these guys make an income. Using it beyond your personal use is just not cool. And really, they didn't have to let us record them, they could have justifiably said no to protect their business, their brands, and their knowledge. Allowing and encouraging this just makes me love them all the more.

Even when on down time, in between sessions, or taking a break, these ladies were so real, so approachable, so friendly. They mingled, they worked their stalls, they even wore each others merchandise, mucked around and laughed. Hell I'm just gonna say it... THERE WERE NO DIVA'S... and definitely no diva moments, well certainly NOT from the instructors (I can't give details cause I'm not that kinda blogger, I'm the type to tease and hint... buy me a coffee one day and I may spill).

I think the thing I was most proud of in spending time with the instructors is what an opportunity Pole Fest gave to show the talent we have in this country. These professional pole dancers and quality educators, with some serious qualifications I will add too, each of them are just wonderful. The years of experience in honing their craft, and the generosity in sharing even the smallest of tips, which in my case helped me overcome a huge block, well I just can't thank them enough. The Australian Pole Dance community definitely has professionals we can be very proud of.
Instructors before the Hollywood Glamour Showcase
I guess you can tell I had an amazing time at Pole Fest. I can guarantee that any time it's on in the future I will most definitely be attending. I'm glad I didn't let being a beginner or alone in my group stop me either. I got so much out of it, I brought so much home with me to work on, and I've been motivated and inspired. Seriously consider saving your money to attend, or pay it off weekly when it comes up next. Keep your eyes open around March when information starts to filter through. My suggestion is like the Pole Fest Facebook page, make sure you check you want notifications, that way you'll definitely know when things are about to happen.

Hopefully I'll see you at Pole Fest 2015, heck we may even be in the same group, yay!

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Going solo to the Australian Pole Festival

In a week and a half I will be attending the Australian Pole Festival. Three days of workshops, socialising, markets, and connecting with pole dancers from all over the country. And I will spend every day in the presence of, or being taught by, pole guru's, pole wizards, and polebrities (pole celebrities) both home grown and international.
The Australian Pole festival is being held on the southern Gold Coast. It's only been in recent times it's referred to as the Gold Coast. I actually call it Tweed Heads and Coolangatta, having been an Officer with the Naval Cadets (TS Vampire) in the early '90's and Tweed Heads was my stomping ground during this time, that's what I know it as. Yes, you may "Hello Sailor" me anytime.

Anyway I'm digressing. With only a bit more than a week and a half to go until this three days of pole fabulosity, well, I'm starting to get a bit anxious.

I haven't become as fit as I'd hoped before the festival, I haven't lost as much weight as I'd hoped before the festival, and I am going solo. Yep, that's the one that's got me more apprehensive than anything else.
Because I'm solo, aka friendless, aka Nigel no friends, aka Harry high pants (just threw that last one in) well, I don't have a room buddy so I will be allocated a buddy. Oh god, the anticipation is the worst bit. You see I'm terribly shy. I fight it and force myself to be 'out there' but I'd rather kick back with a coffee, in a quiet room and read a book after dinner, and not socialise that much or certainly not socialise too late. I can be a bit of a Nanna after all.

Not knowing who my room buddy is I'm full of questions. Will she be the stereotypical young party thing out drinking most nights, staggering in late? A smoker - blah? A snorer - gasp? Someone who spreads their stuff everywhere - frowning? Doesn't pick up after themselves - sigh? Inconsiderate and loud - groaning? Will she be all dark, gloomy with ear buds tightly shoved in her ear canals and blocking any form of communication, yet forcing me to listen to the tinny whining of the metal banging beats coming out of the gaps in the buds? Will she be up and down pee'ing all night? Hell, do I flush at night or will that wake her up? Do I wear my usual pyjamas, are they stranger worthy, too daggy, too mummy, to lazy, oh god should I just go buy a new set? 

Then there's the ablutions question. Who will shower first, what if she takes foreeeevvvvvahhhhh? What if I can't get ready in time in the morning's before we head out to our respective workshops. My day would be wrecked. I need to do some things a certain way, I need to present a certain way. I'm old okay think 'set in my ways', does that help?

God, then there's the 'gas' question. How am I not going to explode from holding in farts? I can't fart in front of a stranger. I'm not sure I'm gifted enough to slowly baby fart tiny bubbles of fart out all quiet and stealthy like. What if I snore? Sweet Jesus what if I fart and snore! I'd be asleep so I'd be completely unaware of it. I'd be mortified, okay maybe that's a bit dramatic but I'd certainly be embarrassed. Worse, what if she farts and snores in her sleep? Once the novelty wore off and my giggling settled, well I think I'd be over it pretty bloody quickly and just want her to clamp her orifices shut and be quiet so I could get some much needed shut eye. 
I'm such a light sleeper too. Even my son grinding his teeth in the room away from me I can hear it and I wake. I wake when my daughter coughs. I wake when I hear the kangaroos snuff and snort outside our bedroom window. How will I ever stay asleep sleeping with a stranger.

I've just got to hope for exhaustion, sheer bloody exhaustion and complete muscle drainage that when I fall into the bed at night I just stay asleep, completely and utterly, deeply asleep. 

Oh, here's a thought, maybe I should make it a veggie free weekend? My thinking being veggies make you fart, so no veggies equals no farting, right. Hey, that university education hasn't been wasted!

You know what, I think I'm just going to take a deep breath, relax, and just let things happen. Best case I'll make a new pole buddy, worse case I'll have a huge amount of material to write about in here and next Pole Festival I'll negotiate a single room option. So I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's a win/win. In all honesty the way things have been organised I think I'm going to be way too busy to worry, way to tired to care, and besides my room buddy will be a fellow pole dancer. God, if you can't gently drop your guts in front of a fellow poler what's the world coming too.
Update: 9th October
Just found out I'm rooming with THREE other women!!!!